Maybe it’s the fireworks or the thrill of celebrating yet another year as a nation, but the weekend of the Fourth of July is a big draw for people who cheat. It would be good if cheating were just restricted to national holidays. Most people would actually take that over the more painful alternative. Instead, most affairs last weeks, months, or even years.
If your relationship is currently going through a rough patch, you should be on your guard against cheaters. Not just because cheating hurts, but also because studies show that it is almost impossible to address the problems of a relationship if one party is still actively engaged in an affair. Unfortunately, over 80% of affairs go undetected. Knowing what signs to watch out for can help you stop an affair before it becomes too serious.
Possible Signs that Your Partner is Cheating
Most people actually sense when their partners are cheating, but simply choose to ignore their feelings. Of course, your partner isn’t going to leave obvious clues of his or her infidelity. However, if you notice any of the following changes in their behavior, it may be an indication of an affair.
What time does your partner return from work? If your spouse is suddenly taking an extra hour or two to get home, or is constantly engaged for late business meetings, it is possible that there is an affair afoot.
One way to determine this is to pay attention to what your partner says. For example, if you call your husband and he says he is in the office working late, call a colleague to confirm. If your husband says he is spending an extra hour sorting some documents, drive to his office and tell him you are downstairs.
Affairs go through the same phases as any relationship. The early stages of a relationship are marked by both parties taking better care of their appearance. When your husband suddenly begins to dress smarter and take better care of his grooming, it may be because he is trying to impress someone else.
Constantly on the Phone
How much time is your spouse spending on the phone? An increase in phone calls, particularly calls with unknown caller IDs, is one of the common indications of an ongoing affair. If your partner insists on answering every call that comes in, he or she may have something to hide. An affair is even more likely if your partner chooses to answer calls in the bathroom or walks away whenever he or she is answering the phone.
Change in Behavior
Maybe your partner suddenly becomes more concerned about his or her appearance or insists on taking a shower upon returning home. Sudden changes in normal behavior may be an indication that your spouse is cheating on you. If your spouse suddenly becomes more willing to go out on errands like shopping runs and spends longer than usual, he or she may be sneaking off to see someone else.
How to Confirm Your Partner Is Cheating
Of course, none of these confirm that your partner is actually cheating on you. There may be a simple explanation behind your partner’s recent behavior. Before you make a drastic decision about your relationship, it is advisable that you take steps towards confirming your suspicions.
Hire a Private Investigator
If you want physical proof that your partner is being unfaithful, then consider the option of hiring a private investigator. Affairs do not happen in a vacuum. There is always a love nest or secret location. You can pay an investigator to monitor your partner’s actions. If your spouse is secretly sneaking away every weekend to a hotel room, you will quickly hear about it.
A private investigator can also take pictures and possibly videos so you have something to back up your claims. This is important, because there is always a chance that you may be wrong. Just because your spouse is keeping late nights does not mean he or she is having an affair. The only way that you will know for sure is if you can catch your partner in the act.
Bug the Phone
Affairs may happen in secret, but they still involve a fair amount of open talk. If you have a landline at home, there is a good chance that your spouse might use the phone to arrange an illicit meeting over the weekend. Your spouse won’t expect you to bug the phone, so take advantage of it. You may not record anything, but then again, you could stumble onto something fairly damaging.
In addition to bugging your partner’s phone, there are other avenues available to you. For instance, you could install GPS tracking software on your spouse’s smartphone. You will find great apps in the iOS, Android, and WindowsPhone Marketplace that allow you to monitor where your partner goes and even retrieve deleted messages.
Final Word: Avoid Confrontations
The worst thing that you could do if you suspect your spouse of cheating is to confront them. You should not ask because they will not tell. Instead, your partner will lie and try to explain his or her suspicious behavior. Worst-case scenario, you’ll believe the lies and stop your search. This will allow the affair to flourish.
Even if you don’t believe your partner’s explanations, confronting your spouse will put them on the defensive. They’ll get rid of any evidence and take steps towards being more discreet. All of that will only make it much harder for you to spot mistakes. You should only confront your partner after you have irrefutable evidence of his or her wrongdoings. And, if you plan to file for divorce, it may be even better to postpone the airing of your evidence until you are in court.