What To Do If You Think Your Lover Is Cheating

By June 6, 2012cheating spouse

Don’t Let Paranoia Get the Best of You

When you suspect your lover is cheating, it’s all you can think about. The paranoia seeps into your every thought – and your fear that your relationship is coming to an end can be downright overwhelming. In fact, just the suspicion that your partner is cheating is enough to destroy a relationship. That’s why you need to take some steps to try and figure out what’s at the root of your concerns – are they founded or unfounded?

If you suspect that your partner or spouse is cheating on you, there are a few things you can do to try and find out if your feelings are real.

First, if you’ve noticed your partner acting more distant or combative lately or if they’re less attentive or affectionate, call them on it. Their behavior could be easily explained. For example, they could be overwhelmed by work stress and letting that worry bleed over into your romantic lives. Your lover could also be depressed – a condition that might need therapeutic intervention. Of course, if there is no explanation that satisfies your curiosity, you can continue to keep an eye on things and perhaps even dig deeper to find the root cause.

Escalating Suspicions Help, But Proof is Better

If you feel your suspicions escalating after your initial conversation about the issues you’ve been experiencing, you may want to consider the more drastic measure of hiring a private investigator. PIs can dig deeper and provide documentation and other proof of your lover’s activities; they could follow your suspected cheating spouse during those times they’re conspicuously absent or do a bit of electronic surveillance. Plus, you can do some of the investigating yourself – either by checking emails and texts to looking at their cell phone’s call log or suspicious entries on their calendars to taking a closer look at their credit and debit card activities. It is always a better idea to hire a professional private detective so you do not compromise being able to obtain the facts you need for closure on the matter.

Verify your partner’s so-called alibis

If you’re suspicious that your partner is cheating and using someone you both know and trust as an alibi – say, they tell you they’re out with their sibling when you think they might be having a tryst – ask that alibi how their time spent with your partner was and see how they react.

“Be prepared for either outcome,” says Darrin Giglio, Manhattan private investigator. “If you hire a private investigator, you need to be prepared for bad news, and equally you need to prepare yourself for good news.” Your partner may very well not be cheating – and, should that be the case, you’ll have some personal inventory to do with regards to your suspicions. In order to prevent your paranoia from undermining your relationship moving forward, you’ll need to take stock of your own insecurities. Statistics show that a person who alleges or has the intuition that their partner is cheating are usually in the high 90th percentile of being correct in their suspicion – however, having facts the back it up it always the smart choice.

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