Nothing stings like the betrayal of a spouse or significant other. Most experts agree that if your spouse cheats on you, the best way to confirm it is to hire a private investigator. However, before you hire an investigator, doing some snooping on your own is also an option.
Not only does this ensure that you do need an investigator, it can also help cut down on the man hours (and the cost) if you do since you can give the PI more information to work with.
Here are some tricks you can use to confirm or clear up suspicions of cheating:
Don’t Break the Law
Do note that in most states individual privacy is protected – even from concerned family members. Seek legal advice before taking any action that may violate your spouse’s privacy. If you break the law and your marriage ends badly, your spouse can take you to court for your illegal actions.
This means that some of the tips that you’ll find on the internet are either in the gray area or downright illegal for you to do. These include: bugging their car, installing key loggers on their personal computer, hacking their phone, social media account, email accounts, etc. Yes, you’ll get the proof of the affair but you’ll be exposing yourself to litigation.
Check their Phone
Cell phones are some of the most personal devices we own. It’s therefore no surprise that it’s used by cheaters in the conduct of the affair. And most cheaters learn to secure their phones early on.
Some red flags to be aware of:
- They changed the PIN that they’ve previously shared with you.
- They start sleeping with their phone under their pillow.
- They go to another room to take certain phone calls.
Most phones display callers or text notification on their screen even when the phone is locked. Take note of any phone numbers or email addresses you don’t recognize and run a search for it later.
Check their Browser History
If you have legal access to the computer that they use – it’s a computer for family use or if you have been given access to it – you can check your spouse’s browser history. It can tell you the sites and pages they go to. Visiting dating sites and social media pages that they’ve been keeping secret is a cause for concern.
If they erase their browser history after use, you can check again at a later date. If they make a habit of clearing the browser history, it’s a good bet that they’re hiding something.
Keep a Journal
Monitor your spouse’s activity in your journal. These can include trips, unexplained ATM or credit card activity. Take note of trips that took longer than normal, like trips to the corner store that now takes a couple of hours. Most cheaters will use cash to finance the affair as it leaves less records – a spike in cash withdrawals should be noted.
This will let you keep track of details and can help identify if your spouse is cheating. Also, as cheaters will often twist the truth or confound the issue, keeping detailed records is necessary when you confront them.
Be Prepared for What You’ll Find
While you may think that they’re cheating, it’s also a possibility that they have an addiction, family problem, or other issue that they’re trying to keep secret. Try to keep calm and don’t immediately fly into accusations without definite proof.
If someone is cheating, there is a good chance that they will be on their guard and will try to hide their tracks. Unfortunately, as much as there are pages devoted to giving tips on how to catch cheaters, there are more pages on how to cheat successfully.
If you find that you are unable to definitely prove or disprove your spouse’s cheating, it may be time to consult a private investigator. They have the skills and experience to prove or disprove your suspicions. As a bonus, they can provide evidence that can be used in court if it gets to that point.